bottomjared:

im dead

bottomjared:

im dead

Would you please stop calling me that? 

So I got a new job at Mattress Firm last Thursday…

And holy shit I love this job. It’s got a great, laid back atmosphere. The co-workers who are training me are all super nice. There are periods where its several hours in-between customers, and while that sounds bad for a salesman, I actually really like it because I’m secretly an introvert and I really enjoy the quiet time alone. It’s really easy to keep the stores clean and there aren’t any stupid rules or chores to do that make me want to die. PLUS it has a really good base salary + any commission and the commision is also pretty nice. The only downside is that since we are in a new market we don’t get a lot of customers because no one knows who we are since we just opened our first store this February.

I have an evaluation in 2 months where they give me 3 tests to see if I can continue being a salesman or if I need to go to a different department and my god do I hope I pass those tests. 

They are opening a new store here in Lincoln next February. As long as I pass those tests and get learned up on all the beds (we have 80+ we sell) and all the ins-and-outs I hope to become the new Store Manager at that store. That’s my goal and I’ll keep ya’ll updated. :)

quietcharms:

whoa! i totally did a double-take

quietcharms:

whoa! i totally did a double-take

lesbianvenom:

lesbianvenom:

the pizza guy is gonna put tonight on his résumé

i made this post about the oscars and the pizza guy but now i’m sure that 95% of the ppl reblogging it now are thinking i fucked a pizza guy when i did not there has been a grave misunderstanding here my friends

polaroidxirwin:

thecuriousmuffin:

lizthefangirl:

pretentiousprat:

The dorm wifi names here crack me up.

where in the heck are you

PENIS

Drop it like its hot spot

polaroidxirwin:

thecuriousmuffin:

lizthefangirl:

pretentiousprat:

The dorm wifi names here crack me up.

where in the heck are you

PENIS

Drop it like its hot spot

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

im sorry rosie youve been a good friend

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

im sorry rosie youve been a good friend

duct-tape-and-safety-pins-inside:

A girl I’m friends with on Facebook posted this status and I love it so much.

duct-tape-and-safety-pins-inside:

A girl I’m friends with on Facebook posted this status and I love it so much.

tastefullyoffensive:

But… [x]

seabornunicorns:

methoticalmemento:

Best host ever!!

recovering vegetarian

konekokleptic:

these things are fucking fabulous